It has been a year and two months since I moved to Indiana. I have been overwhelmed with schooling, working two jobs, and everything else that life throws at you to really notice. Not that I don't miss home, but making time to do so is the difficult part. We have a four day weekend off school, and it is my best friend from high school's baby shower and yet I still find myself making a list of things I could be getting home if I stayed in Butler.
Even 150 miles away from my fiance I cannot escape the overwhelming film of hunting that has surrounded my life for the past eight days. Yes, it is finally the dreaded hunting season. The part of the year where I lose my significant other to the outdoors, and find more and more of my own clothing being converted to 'Mossy Oak'. I arrived at my parents to a 15 degree temperature drop, and only a hunter's camo sweater in my backseat. Look whose going to the baby shower in a white dress and a tree! They at least know who I'm marrying, so I hope I don't offend anyone.
I had a good, long conversation with my dad today about life out in Indiana. By talk, I mean, I vented about my irritations with life in general and he kindly offered to show me land for sale not too far from their house. I don't mean to complain, honest, I don't. I know what I should try to work things out. My normal course of action would be to ignore it, and try to let everything go. But honestly, I know that's not the healthy way to go about things.
Being at the wedding last weekend in Pittsburgh reminded me of the young woman I was in high school. My total and complete focus had been on God, and helping others back then. I still feel that tug to go on missions trips, and volunteer, but the dedication to both has greatly declined. Everyday since last Saturday I have been growing more and more dissatisfied with the way I am living my life. I want to put myself back into the mindset I had just a few years ago and focus on God, not on what I think I need to be doing.